{Day 24}

my diploma

Well. It's over.

It still hasn't sunk in yet. I mean, it doesn't feel real.

Yet at the same time, I'm getting so excited to see my family again. A mental countdown has started in my head without my knowing it - less than 24 hours and I'll be back home!

Back home. Where this culture isn't "normal." Where I'm the carrier instead of the one being infected.

Oh, what an intimidating responsibility. Lord, help me.

But the day. Oh yes, the day.

myself, Yasmin, and Anja

It started out with a bundle of nerves because this morning was the morning we presented our gift to Kathy. 'Gift' meaning 'gifts.' Along with all the insanity of worship school this past week, five other ladies and myself have been organizing this presentation for Kathy. It started out with a Facebook post by me saying something to the effect of, "Let's do something for Kathy! What should we do?"

The result was an expedition in leadership, delegation, and promotion. Epic. We collected money for flowers {not my committee}, wrote a song {also not my committee}, and compiled a binder full of thank-you notes and art {my committee}. It was a journey of Facebook, standing in front of workshops, of Dan McCollum promoting our cause, shushing whenever Kathy walked by, and more Facebook {we have a lively Facebook group containing 250 of the 450 students}. And then, to top it all off, we got Brian Johnson and the tech team involved. The tech team to shoot the words to the song up on screen as we all {all} sang them, and Brian to play the song. {They had changed the lyrics to "Mighty to Save."}

Nicole and I

Wow. Typing all that makes me even more surprised that we did it. But we did. Brian introduced us, we presented the flowers and the binder, Kathy cried, and then Brian accompanied Anja leading the song. {Lyrics.} And Kathy cried...a lot...more. :)

I don't yet have any video to embed here. But - guess what! iBethel got it all! Like, for reals! So if you're an iBethel subscriber, you should totally go watch it! {Or listen, depending on your subscription.} I sound super nervous and not at all how I imagine myself sounding, but my parents recognized me long distance without even knowing about our epic plan, so, I guess I sound more like Lucy Cunningham Schulz {Adventures in Odyssey} than I thought. Note to self: must get into radio drama soon.

{The first person you hear talking on the iBethel recording is Beni Johnson! It was so funny - Brian introduced her as 'my mom,' so I'm totally thinking, "Wow, this is cool, Brian's mom." It took me a good ten or twenty seconds to figure out who Brian Johnson's mom was. *rolls eyes* And then, guess who sneaked in! Bill Johnson! He stood in the back and listened to our main session. I'm so so so so so honored he broke his sabbatical to be with us this morning. I know what a big deal sabbaticals are, and I know how well deserved his was. So for him to come was a huge honor, for me at least.}

some worship art this morning

Anyway, worship was spontaneous-style, which basically means we stayed more or less on one song for a good hour, hour and a half. It was awesome. Our last song was "You Have Won Me," a new Bethel song, one I haven't been able to connect with until today. It's an anthem, but I feel like it was for us and was our commission. And then Brian and Jenn hung out and prophesied over some of us. Then more worship. Then finally the 'teaching.'

Jenn Johnson & I
super blurry, but i have a better pic coming

Jenn had a quick exhortation on not being arrogant or frustrated, and how God will help us bring back what we've learned. And then she and Brian just shared stories, stories of the supernatural that they've experienced, just to encourage us. Stories are the best. Then we got to hear the story of how they met and got married. Let's just say: you thought Kris & Kathy's "Engaged at 12, married at 18" story was crazy? Here's another. It's a lot longer {and much funnier} than this, but Brian and Jenn dated for 10 days before they were engaged. They were engaged for 7 months and were married 5 days after she turned 18.

Erinn & I

Can you tell I don't want to go to sleep? This has to be the longest blog post ever. Because once I go to sleep, I have to wake up in a new day, a day not like all the other days here, my first day without worship. A day of home, thank you, Jesus, but a day without this culture for the first time in weeks.

Ate lunch. We did 30 minutes of Creative Expressions so we got to finish everyone.
{The following song is sung in Creole by a girl from Haiti. The song is a declaration of life, of a will to live in God. It was written by her friend who died in the earthquake.}

Remember the spoken word guy I mentioned last week? Well, they brought him back. I know, that's kind of a big deal! There's a video floating around Facebook at this link, but I didn't take one myself. Go listen. It will give you chills.

Then it was fire tunnel time!! A fire tunnel just for us BSW students, comprised of Bethel staff and worship team. Fun, fun, fun.


Home. Ate. Walked up the entire hill to go to pre-service prayer. No one picked us up. I wasn't too surprised, since I've walked the hill at least four times without anyone picking me up, but this was the first time my roomates had had to do it. {Apparently one of my roomates had told God she would walk the hill once before she left. Haha.} What weirded me out this time is that I wasn't sore. The other times I've walked it, the top kills my calves. But today I was fine. Sweaty, but not hurt. Weird.

Pre-service prayer was sweet and good. Worship was led by Matt and Hayley. Ken Williams, who is in charge of Global Legacy, gave the message. A very good message about "Vulnerability & Being Known". Highlights:

• "Mold grows in the dark." - Ken Williams
• "The most vulnerable person is the most powerful person in the room." - Mark Peterson
• "The world system is trying to separate us from each other." - Ken Williams
• "God's definition of an accountability partner equals friend." - Ken Williams
• God cannot remove desires because He satisfies desires.
• "Cowardliness is not a virtue." - Ken Williams
• The original definition of courage was "to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart."

Came home, and then went on an adventure with Lauren, Mitch, Laurel, Amber, and Dani to Sundial Bridge. Apparently people travel to see it. It's pretty cool, yes, a great hang out spot. It's been a while since I've goofed off with people just out to have fun, and let me tell you, BSSM students/grads know how to have fun.

Came home. Ate chips. Packed a little. And now I'm here. Writing a blog post. In total denial that tomorrow I shall leave this wonderful place.

And now I post this blog at 3:22AM. My alarm will be ringing in a little more than 3 hours. I haven't pulled something like this off in a long while. And what with jet lag and all...

Dear God, I need double sleep tonight.

{Day 21}

Wow, the day has been so long! This morning seems like an eternity ago!

Let's see. Worship was led by William Matthews, Matt, and Hunter Thompson {which means we got "My Dear"}. I stood in the back, a change from the past couple of weeks, so that I was able to have a bit of space. Great, great worship. William's prophetic worship is off the hook {oh, dear, I'm turning Californian}, and it was just so good. So good.

Then we heard from Ramey Whalen, Ray Hughes' daughter. She's eight weeks shy of going into labor, but she still has tons of energy. She taught on the tabernacle of David, which is important to know because it's hopefully coming back {Amos 9:11; Acts 15:16}. Did you know they're currently uncovering the ruins of David's tabernacle? Me neither. Even though we see it as coming back spiritually and not literally, it's definitely a very prophetic sign.

• For 33 years {David's kingship}, at team of 4000 worshipers {out of 38,000 Levites, the rest of whom also had jobs} were in charge of worshiping God 24/7.  The 4000 made up teams of 24 bands. All were led by Keniniah {which I'm sure I'm spelling wrong}, and under Keniniah were 3 more head musicians. There were 5 things required by all those who wanted to be on this enormous worship team:
• 7 years of training in the school of the prophets
• quote the entire Bible {of the time} word-perfect
• 30+ years old {later lowered to 20 or 21}
• had to have a well-rounded knowledge of history, current/secular poetry, current events, etc...
• had to build their own instrument
• "David walked in the office of prophet, priest, and king." - Ramey Whalen
• To criticize other people's demonstrative acts of worship is to invite spiritual barrenness.

Then we went into a study {finally!} of the seven types of praise. You see, when the word 'praise' is used in the Bible, there's one of many words it could actually be. The English language doesn't translate it very well. However, I don't actually have them written down, because we were busy acting them out. We started this by Ramey calling up the band and us walking around the perimeter of the room, just singing out and worshiping God.

1. Barak. This is also often translated as 'bless,' and it means to bow or salute. So first we saluted God {literally}, and then we bowed to the floor.
2. Yadah. This means to praise by the lifting up of hands. Pretty basic. We do that a lot.
3. Todah. Similar in root to yadah, this does involve a raising of hands. But it's focused on thanking God for what He's going to do, not what He's already done. It also involves what we would call high-fives...
4. Shabach. To lift up a shout.
5. Zamar. Though this can include singing, it is focused more on the musical instrument, the plucking of the string. So for this one, we let the band play/prophecy over us through simply music. So, so good.
6. Tehillah. My favorite. This is the singing of praise {about time, right?}, specifically that of a spontaneous song.
7. Hallal. Last, but certainly not least, is the word that forms the root of hallelujah. To hallal means to dance and spin crazily like a maniac and to look like a fool. To act madly. So next time you say 'hallelujah,' be ready for some fun. :)

Lunch. Then two workshops {Worship Leading and Songwriting} with Jenn Johnson.

I love Jenn Johnson. I do not have a lot of notes from her, because a lot of what she tells are stories. But I'm so game for that. I love her stories. I won't type them here, but I'll probably be telling them for years. What notes I do have, though, I give:

• Worship Leading
• When there's a song you want to do in your worship set, but the band/you can't figure it out in time, capture the theme, but don't feel like you have to do the song.
• Constantly realign your heart to worship.
• "Connect to your senior pastor." - Jenn Johnson
• "What you carry, you leak." - Jenn Johnson
• Sometimes in worship, your body wants to dance, and it's you who stops it.
• "Your freedom is contagious." - Jenn Johnson
• Community: "We just love Jesus and food." - Jenn Johnson
• Start your set list with a declaration song about who God is.
• Encouragement trumps jealousy.
• Songwriting
• Sing the Bible.
• When you get an idea, 'sketch' out your ideas/themes for the verses and chorus and work from there.
• "Go write a fun song." - Jenn Johnson
• She told us to go write the #1 love song in the world. Because, as Christians, we should understand love better than anybody. And God designed man/woman love. "Go write an amazing love song." - Jenn Johnson
• There are congregational {"Taste & See"}, moment {"God I Look to You"}, and message {"A Little Longer"} songs, among others.
• Make sure your songs are relevant to your senior pastor...and Joe the Plumber on the back row.

We got home from school and promptly went grocery shopping, then to Whiskey Town Lake to celebrate Amber's birthday. To be honest, I really just wanted to stay home, but I was able to get over that, and I had a blast at the lake. It's so beautiful. Picture a lake, surrounded by almost-mountain hills. Ah. Just lovely. Also, the weather was a good 5 or 10 degrees cooler. I'm not sure if it was the altitude or maybe we were in mountain shadow...but it felt so good. Like velvet.

Jenna showed us this magnificently beautiful creek. Just picturesque and altogether perfect. Loverly. I want to bottle up that creek and take it home with me.

the view from our picnic table

The party consisted of Amber, Dani, Jenna, Lauren, Mitch, Johnathan, Sam, and myself. We snacked on chips for a long time, then Mitch and Sam figured out the grill and managed to cook kabobs. I feel very proud that I not only bathed two chicken breasts in barbecue sauce on a foam plate, but I also cut them into kabob-size squares with a plastic fork and knife. And my hands.

another view from our picnic table

Mitch and Sam went into the lake, and Lauren and I followed after a bit. I swear we were only in the water for five minutes, but I'm still cold. Hours later. It probably lowered my body temperature by three or four degrees. Also, if I can't touch the bottom {in nature water, not pools}, I'm instantly fighting panic attacks. Random fact about me.



So the water's so cold that my body is numbing, and my mind is working overdrive in reminding me, "Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic. It's okay, you're okay..." Anyway, it was great. I can now say I've been in Whiskey Town Lake at dusk. And I didn't panic.

May or may not have sat and shivered through worship, led by Mitch. It was great anyway, though. And I'm sufficiently cooled down for days, I'm sure. Then we looked up at the stars, me wrapped up in Lauren's flannel shirt, Lauren's hoodie, and Lauren's Indian blanket.

Now I'm home, and happy beneath my blankets, and going to sleep. Oh, and by the way, pray for my roommate, Jasmine. She ended up in ER last night with what's definitely a severe ear infection and could be a ruptured eardrum. She's a great sport, but she's in a lot of pain.


And on that happy note, I bid you good night! :)

{Day 17}

Started out with a slew of announcements that included this lovely video for the new Bethel dating website, OnDaySix.com. After telling us that we should ask someone out today. :) {Don't worry, Mom & Dad, no one did.}


Guess what today is. You'll never guess. Canada Day! I have two Canadian friends here, so I was happy for them. They were all stoked, and Kathy let them all come up to the front and sing their anthem:


Then worship, led by Brian Johnson with backup singer Leah, his sister. It was more of an acoustic set, because Brian's voice has been undergoing some stress. But then, about halfway through the {long} set after some prophetic worship, he put his guitar down, stepped away from the mic, came down to the floor {where we were}, and gave his wireless mic to William and another to Steffany. And then they led prophetic worship {put extremely simply: prophetic worship is spontaneous choruses not previously written and that worship or encourage} from the floor. Then they handed the mic to other people - some of us students. And we were just having a blast. It was fun. Fun worship. Prophetic song after prophetic song, with Brian and William and Steffany just going at it. We had a blast. This video is of the very end, after the singing stopped, unfortunately. The first person the camera pauses on is Steffany Frizzell, then William and Brian sitting on the stage steps. I'm sorry it's so short, and that it's not actually of the song. I was finally ready to film...and we were done.

Steffany & William

Then William and Steffany did the teaching, one after the other. Highlights:

• William Matthews
• Tell of who God is, don't cater to what the congregation is feeling.
• Steffany Frizzell
• Highest praise comes from the deepest place.
• "Worship was never for us." {It's for God, not to make us feeling better.} - Steffany Frizzell
• Worship means laying yourself down.
• Worship is to Him, and for Him, and because of Him.
• Mary "went and looked for a testimony {Elizabeth} because she could not see her own promise." - Steffany Frizzell
• "Don't ask God for a baby if you're not ready to carry one." - Steffany Frizzell
• "Go surround yourself with testimony." - Steffany Frizzell

Then they played a couple of tracks from William's upcoming CD. And this happened:


Lunch, and then Jenn Johnson's talk on prophetic worship. A lot of practical advice that I won't write here, but if that's something your interested in, ask me about it. Anyway, Jenn is awesome and so real. So real. Just incredibly vulnerable and unashamed and real.

"Do not feel something in your heart that you're not willing to talk about."

Then Carol, Anja, Amber, Dani, and I, decided to go to the mall. While we were waiting for Anja to get out of her voice lesson with Joanna, we met a BSSM1 grad named Thais. Thais is from Brazil and awesome. She was also going to the mall, so I rode with her and found out more about her. She's married to a fellow Brazilian, and they both moved up here to go to BSSM. I love her, and I really hope to know her better. She speaks fluent Portuguese.

We went to the mall. We ate. We went to Ross. I got a duffel bag thing that I may or may not keep...for all the extra stuff I'm going to be bringing home. Then we went to church for the evening service. Worship was great, though I'm not sure who led. Steve and Wendy Backlund taught. I have a lot of highlights:

• "You are not the problem." - Wendy Backlund
• "Current beliefs create future experiences." - Steve Backlund
• "The more truth you believe is the more hope you'll have." - Steve Backlund
• "We can't be so addicted to reality." - Wendy Backlund
• "I am well able to overcome it." - Steve Backlund
• "The Kingdom of God is not moved forward by good conduct, it's moved forward by good beliefs." - Steve Backlund
• "You don't fall from grace by sinning. You fall from grace by trying to work." - Wendy Backlund
• "You can't do what you don't think you are." Wendy Backlund
• "You're one belief away from a tipping point in your life." - Steve Backlund
• "The only time your past can determine your future is if you live in it." - Wendy Backlund
• You know what you really believe when you listen to yourself when you're not being religious.
• "The God that is within me, and He will cause me to succeed." - Wendy Backlund
• "You're only able to receive what you think you're worth." - Wendy Backlund
• Are you living in abundance compared to His riches and glory?
• God often has to answer prayers in opposition to our beliefs.
• Hope and faith have to be attached to a belief.
• "How we make decisions, in the long run, is more important than the decisions we make." - Steve Backlund
• "Leaders are not thermometers, they are thermostats." - Steve Backlund
• "If you're an encourager, people are gonna hear you more." - Steve Backlund
• "There are no ideal circumstances to renew your mind." - Steve Backlund
• "You're being prepared for greater influence." - Steve Backlund

Now I'm home, full, and exhausted. Good night!

{Day 3}

Churches on hills are great in theory. Though not so spectacular when one has to walk to get there.

Dancing in worship is also great in theory. It's also great in real life.

Then there's this thing called a backpack...containing laptop, Bible, two journals, binder, etc...

Muscles. Are. Sore. I shall come home in excellent shape, I'm sure.

yes, that's me this morning.
pic by my new friend from Canada

Anyway, worship this morning was by MorningStar again. Good, good, good. And then Jenn Johnson talked. Man, oh, man, oh, man. Highlights:

• "Jesus wants you. He doesn't want a robot." - Jenn Johnson
• "You're made in His nature, so you're good, too." - Jenn Johnson
• "You don't have to have all the answers to all of the questions. You just have to obey." - Jenn Johnson
• Pay attention to ideas/visions that you have in worship. "A lot of good ideas are the Lord." - Jenn Johnson
• "I don't care how dark your dark is. Light wins, every time." - Jenn Johnson
• "You are not your gift." - Amber Butler (MorningStar)

After the 'ministry time,' which was so good, so cleansing, she chose two people to prophecy over. Then prophesied over Amber and David from MorningStar, then called 5 people (for each) from the crowd to give their prophesies to Amber and David. That was really cool. I love seeing prophecy in action.

Then was the keyboard class with Ian McIntosh. We all got to go on the Bethel stage (!) and crowd the keyboard as he taught. He's really cool, though I admit the information was a bit over my head, since I'm not familiar with keyboarding as complex as he does it. Though what he does seems easier than what I do...just a few thousand dollars difference in equipment, and a few months/years of knowledge, that's all. :)

the Vallotton's house

Then the barbecue at the Vallotton's. Dear God, bless Kathy for all her work and generosity and hospitality! Their house is beautiful, and they served over probably 500 people today. Those two are connected, I think. God knows He can trust them with such a magnificent place (lovely deck/patio, badminton, game room, parlor, volleyball, playground, hammock, swimming pool) because He knows they'll give of it. That's how the Kingdom works.

 

I sat near Jenn Johnson for a little bit at the swimming pool. A little starstruck, I admit, but she's so real and normal, it's hard to stay so for long. Told her my epic plans for the weekend and admitted I didn't know when I was going to sleep. She said sleeping might be a good idea. :)

walking up to Bethel

Tonight I experienced my first Bethel church service! I'm still not sure who led worship, but Chris Overstreet preached. It was really good, but my eyelids were drooping. Worship was really good though. It was packed, so dancing at the back was just as awkward as at CCC, where I'm trying to stay out of the way...except, this time, there are dozens of other dancers also trying to stay out of the way, and I'm trying to stay out of theirs.

A very good problem to have.

I love watching them. Old, young, male, female, skirts, jeans, BSW students, and who-knows. It's beautiful, almost more exciting than BSW worship because everyone there is not necessarily in town just to worship like we are. Just: "I am not ashamed/to act this way/You will be praised," as Amber sang in worship yesterday.

Speaking of yesterday, I posted some links below that can keep you up to date even more than this blog, if you're interested! :)