{Day 10}

I have so much stuff from today. Morning worship was led by William Matthews. It was good.

Morning session of the Kingdom Culture conference was with Kris Vallotton. It's kinda crazy how happy I was to see him in real life. He has a humility that doesn't come through his audio; he's not that cocky in real life. Highlights:

• "You can't love someone more than they love you." - Kris Vallotton
• You are not a sinner saved by grace. You were a sinner, but when you were saved by grace you became a saint.
• If you believe you're a sinner, you'll sin by faith.
• woah, selah
• "You are seated in heavenly places with Christ and told to call God, 'Daddy.'" - Kris Vallotton
• You are actually born to be amazing.
• "I'm the painting, Jesus is the model, and God is the artist." - Kris Vallotton
• You'll always reduce the environment around you to what you believe is within you.
• You teach people how to treat you by how you treat you.
• "Conviction says, 'You're way too awesome to be acting like that.'" - Kris Vallotton
• "I'm not going to sing about me being a loser when God made me to be a winner." - Kris Vallotton
• If you asked for it, He wants to give You more.
• He's the King of kings. "You are some of the kings He's king over." - Kris Vallotton

Whoa. I know, right?

Kathy's parking space

my contribution to Kathy's spot

During lunch, I ate with a girl named Lisa and Jessica. And then someone had brought sidewalk chalk and gotten permission to decorate the parking spaces of Marlene (the Kathy Vallotton of TwinView), Kathy Vallotton, Paul Manwaring, and the 'guest speaker.'

It was our best and only way to say thank you.

Paul Manwaring's spot

After the lovely chalk art, we went and worshiped some more {not with William}. Then it was Kathy Vallotton's turn to speak. She's not a one-liner sort of person, just stories and phrasing that resonates in your heart 'til you want whatever it is. Highlights:

• "Don't ever let someone else put something on you that isn't you." - Kathy Vallotton
• "You never know what is inside you until the opportunity arises for it to come out." - Kathy Vallotton
• Beautiful = Be You 'til You're Full

Fat Boyz

my Fat Boyz salad

me, Anja, Dani, & Amber

Supper with Dani, Amber, and Anja at Fat Boyz. {Which has an ironically good salad bar.} We had a lovely long God-conversation that hit on a variety of topics. Then back to TwinView for pre-service prayer.

I'm serious. If you ever go to Bethel, go to pre-service prayer. It's like the best thing ever invented. I spent a good twenty, twenty-five minutes sitting in a chair and then lying on the floor. It was a really monumental time for me, but I'm not going to write what happened. Here's a {slightly edited} journal excerpt:

     "I don't know what this death defying adventure call that draws me is. But I want it. I don't know what exactly it is that I want, and I don't know how to get it. But I know I want it. God, I want Your plan."
     He said, "Are you sure? You don't have to. I can set you up somewhere cozy and comfortable, and you'd be happy."
     I said, "No. I want Your best plan for my life. The best one. Because I trust You. I trust Your plans. I know they are good, and I want them. I don't want to settle for a mediocre plan if You have something better. I'm willing to go through the trials and the process. I know - I know - You have a great destiny for me. And I want it, because it's what I was made for, and I can't get away from my desire of it. I want Your best plan, God!"
     It was giving my life to the Lord. But what I was giving up was nothing compared to what I was receiving. In fact, the reward was greater than the sacrifice. God's best plan. For the first time in my life, I really trust Him. I know that His plans are good, that they're designed for me. He's not going to ask me to do something that I wasn't designed to do.

God will give you what you want
Not because you want it
Though that is reason enough for Him
But because He gave you the want in the first place
When it all began

Right after all that, I got a prophecy about my writing. It's still the craziest feeling in the world when someone comes up to you and goes, "I see you writing." Haha. "Do you write?" And it's like, "YES!" Double confirmation that I'm supposed to do writing with my life. :) {There was more to that prophecy. I wrote it down. It was mainly just a very happy moment of realizing that God actually wants us to do what we like to do {because He designed us to do it}. For some people, that would be a duh! moment, but it was really cool for me.}

Then we had more worship, this also led by William Matthews and Hunter.

Had some good Jesus-time there, too. I won't give you the whole conversation, but here was something really good:

I asked Him if it hurt, when the nails stabbed His skin
I felt a glimpse of wracking pain, made me grimace from within

Then with a smile He took it back, the memory His own

"Oh, it hurt, but there is so much more to know:

"Torture worse than nails, and pain beyond belief,

"A future never knowing you, it would have always been to Me."

worship

Of course, we were dialoguing, not talking in poetry, but it was a revelation well-deserving of poetry.

Then Eric Johnson spoke. Highlights:

• A perfect man {Jesus} says to an imperfect generation, "You will do greater things than I have done."
• Never use power and authority as an indication of a relationship with Jesus. {re: "Depart from me, I never knew you."}
• "We are God's ultimate temple." - Eric Johnson
• There's no place in scripture that gives us permission to turn off His abundance.
• "Desperation is highly overrated." - Eric Johnson
• Desperation is based on a focus of lack. Hunger is based on a focus of abundance.

 Then we came home, laughed with Jenna about fish tanks - apparently I'm funny - and now I'm typing up this blog post. Or, rather, finished typing up the blog post. Tomorrow: healing rooms and a treasure hunt and possibly ultimate frisbee*.


* Ultimate frisbee is not a code word from some super-spiritual church event. It's just straight-up** ultimate frisbee.

** Or it could turn into revival. You never know in Redding with Bethel people. :)

{Day 9} I Adore You Because

I forgot to mention yesterday about the exercise we did after Danny Silk's talk. Half the room lined up against the wall all over the room, and then the other half {mine} was told to get up and find someone we hadn't talked to. And not to talk to them. {Although Chloe and I kinda disobeyed that one...we introduced ourselves because we just couldn't help it. We were strong very a long time, though, because we were both melancholies.}

Anyway, we were each given 30 seconds to ask God what He adored about that person and get three one-word answers. And then we were to look straight at the other person and say, "I adore you because x, y, and z."

It was really cool. There has been so much stuff I've learned while I'm here that I'm like, "Oh, this works in real life!" Because this gives me two things:

1. How to treat someone when I meet them - or even see them across the room. Ask God what He thinks, and translate that to my own belief about that person.
2. How to treat people I don't necessarily like. Ask God what He likes about that person and act accordingly.

That's all. I'm off to a day of Kris Vallotton {!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!}, Kathy Vallotton {!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!}, and Eric Johnson. Wait, he deserves some exclamation points too. {!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!} It's going to be a good day, and I'm excited. :)

{Day 8} School of Worship

worship this morning, Chris leading

Worship this morning was Jesus Culture + William Matthews - Kim Walker-Smith.

In other words, it was legit.

We opened with "Deep Cries Out," which is a fun one, and then did "Burning Ones," "I Want to Know You," and "Obsession." So good. This was my first time to worship from the front of the room, in front of the stage, instead of the back. Fun up there.

Brian Johnson spoke on songwriting for our main session. Highlights:

• "Music in and of itself is prophetic." - Brian Johnson
• "Songwriting isn't just self-expression, it is communicating how you feel and getting others to feel the same way." - Brian Johnson
• He emphasized that all his 'rules' were not rules, just guidelines.
• "Put lyrics to the joy and the passion and the emotion in the room," during congregational worship. - Brian Johnson
• "When you're passionate about something, that's where your anointing is going to be." - Bill Johnson
• "Write what you feel, not what you're supposed to feel." - John Mark McMillan
• "God never runs out of ideas." - Brian Johnson
• "Make the listener want to hear it again." - Brian Johnson
• Love the church. Writing to be famous will be very different than writing out of a love for the church and a desire to see her enter into the Kingdom.

Afterwards I stood in line to possibly volunteer in an upcoming Bethel music video. There were a ton of people wanting in, and they only need 60, so they're going to pick randomly from their list and email us if we're in. So we'll see what happens! :)

inside the Alabaster House

Then I went and soaked in the Alabaster House for about 20 minutes. I love it in there. It's so peaceful. Downside is that I'm always sleepy afterwards.



Went back to the main church building to pick up a parking pass - that I probably won't need - and encountered Kathy Vallotton. I don't know if I've yet commented on her awesome-ness. She is awesome. Omgosh. Anyway, long story short, I asked her to pray for me for something and she did, and it was really cool. I almost fell over, which would have been really awkward, but it was all in all really cool. That's a tell-you-later story, but yeah. She's incredible.

And now I'm home. We only had a half-day of school today because the Kingdom Culture conference is this evening. Amber (Alabama) and Dani (France) went to go experience Redding, and Jasmine (Dallas) is asleep. So it's quiet here, but I'm about to play the piano and/or journal and/or draw. I'll post later about the Kingdom Culture conference tonight.